Husband ne at 1st night
Opened the ghungat gave rs.500 Munh dikhai,
Wife said, tum mere husband ho is liye le leti hoo
Warna main 2000 se kam nahi leti.

Pichle zamane ki ladkiyan yeh kehti thi:
“pehla pehla pyaar hai, aankhon me khumaar hai, aaja mere saajna tera intezaar hai”.

But aaj kal ki ladkiyan kehti hai:
“pehla pehla pyaar hai, aankhon me khumaar hai, aaja mere saajna, NAHI TO DUSRA TAIYAAR HAI”

What does a buffalo produce during an Earth Quake?

A: Milk Shake

A lady delivered twins.
Suprisingly, one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible?
Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER….
wherever u go out network follows.

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

“You’ll get your chance in court,” said the Police officer.

“No, no no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying for years.

A maths teacher said to his student” If u don’t get good marks, then i’ll first differentiate you and then integrate you.”

Student replied- ” kar le jo karna hai hum to e to the power x hain”.

Girl : I want a responsible man as a husband.

Man replies : That’s me, whenever anyone is pregnant in my neighborhood, they say I’m responsible!

A 3-legged dog walks into a club in the Old West.

He slides up to the bar and says, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.

Bhagwan ke bina mandir adhoora hai,
Dosti ke bina jeevan adhoora hai,
Patni ke bina ghar adhoora hai,
Aur aapke bina circus adhoora hai

Do dost ke bich takat ko leker bahut baat ho rahi thi.
Ek dost bola: Tu janta hai meri dadaji kitne shaktisali aur balban the.Woh ekdin 10 fit ucchain se necche gir pade.
Doosra dost bola: Aare bapre phir kya hua?
Pehla dost bola: Mar gaya aur kya!

Palkon pe apni bithaya hai tumhe,
Badi duao ke baad paaya hai tumhe,
Aasani se nahi mile ho tum
National zoological park se churaya hai tumhe.

Manzil ki taraf badte chalo
Jo dil kahe woh raha chalo
Peche walo ko aage na jane do
Jo aage hai unse aur aage niklo
.
.
.
Tabhi tum ek achhe rickshawale ban sakte ho 100%

Admi ki car k sath popat takra k behosh ho gaya.
Admi popat ko ghar le gaya pinjre me rakha diya.
Popat jag k bola AILA JAIL?
DRIVER MAR GAYA KYA ?

Always listen to your wife, she gives sound advice :

99% Sound and 1% Advice….

Dhritarastra: Main khus hu ki tumne 100 putro ko janm diya.

Gandhari: Swami agar aap andhe nahi hote to ye sab sambhav nahi hota.

Agar GANDHIJI DON hote to kehte,
” Mera intzaar to 11 mulko ke HAJAM kar rahe hai.
Lekin 1 baat janlo mere sir par bal aana muskil hi nahi namunkin bhi hai.

Agar zindagi main kuch kar dikhana hai to
kuch aisa karo ki jis shaher, jis gali,
jis mod se guzro wahan ke
har ghar se awaaz aaye,
Papa aa gaye, Papa aa gaye!

Girl : Aisa khat likho sajna, meri umar beet jaye parrhtey parrhtey

Boy : (i=0i>xE’l1i+;e_y#a#>#”e!%; =*?#@?w@’e*,e(p+>i* Le sajni aab paadh tai raho!!

Sir: Bachcho kasam khao kabhi saraab, cigarette nahi piyoge,
non-veg nahi khaoge.
Bachche: Nahi karenge sir

Sir: Kahbi ladki nahi chhedoge
Bachche: Theek hai sir

Sir: Jua nahi kheloge
Bachche: OK sir

Sir: Desh k liye jaan bhi de doge
Bachche: De denge sir, Aise bhi aise jaan ka aur karenge bhi kya

Sir: Bachcho kasam khao kabhi saraab, cigarette nahi piyoge, non-veg nahi khaoge
Bachche: Nahi karenge sir

Sir: Kahbi ladki nahi chhedoge
Bachche: Theek hai sir

Sir: Jua nahi kheloge
Bachche: OK sir

Sir: Desh k liye jaan bhi de doge
Bachche: De denge sir, aisi jaan ka aur karenge bhi kya

Ek American nai ek Swami se bola,
Hamare yaha shaadi e-mail se bhi hoti hai.

Is par Swami bola kamal hai,
Hamare yaha to sirf female se hoti hai.